Ok, I won’t lie to you, I do like to swear.

Perhaps more often than I should.

I blame it on my  formative years in employment. Working in a small design studio above a chemist in the suburbs of Leeds, I honed my potty mouth alongside finished artists who took pride not only in their artwork but their foul-languaged eloquence.

But I am where I am.

And on top of this, I do find swearing funny in the right situation. Childish I realise.

Modern Toss uses swear words to maximum effect – their pocket swearer app was downloaded and gleefully shared with friends and irresponsibly, with my son (although he is 19). Still, I should know better.

And yet I find myself chuckling away in a schoolboyish fashion to the periodic table of swearing published by Modern Toss and brought to my attention by Sabotage Times.

It’s pure filth and pure fucking genius. Enjoy.